All I did was disconnect the battery!

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All I did was disconnect the battery!

Postby bobg » Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:41 pm

‘Allo issa Ducati customer serveeces howa can aye helpa you?
Oh hello I need some help to reset the time and the speedo to MPH.
OK, wadda thee bike you havva?
Multistrada 1200 Touring
Aah belissimo ita make my hearta sing, the besta bike in thee worlda. This isa easy no? The book of de handee she tell you all, yes! You reada, pressa de right buttones and she worka.
I’ve read the book and pressed the buttons and it doesn’t work. The book doesn’t make sense!
Ow can thisa be? I myselfe writa this book; itsa simple even for thee engishe!
Steady on mate no need to sling insults!
Apologees I no meana to be ruda.
Ok, apology accepted, so what do I have to do?
Ok, you pressa thee flasha and thee resetta together fors 3 seconds, no for a 2 no fora 4, for a only 3; ok?
Ok
You seea de Ah Em she flasha?
Ah em??
Si ah em ees thee morning, pee em ees thee afteernoone; s’easee no?
Sorry yes.
Ok, wadda de time? Is ah em or pee em?
AM.
Ok you pressa de up buttone and de houra she flasha?
Yes
OK, you pressa de down buttone till the tima she is correcta – only de houra.
Hang on I press the down button to make the time go up?
Sura, wadda de probleme, issa logico no?
Whatever you say mate. OK, done that.
Belissimo; now pressa the up buttone agane, the minuto she flasha?
Yes
OK, you pressa de down buttone till the minuto she is correcta.
Done
Bravo, nowa we stora in thee braina.
Pardon?
The braina of de computoro, ow you say de memorial?
You mean the memory?
Correctisimo the memory! Zo, pressa de reset bottone and selecto mem. Pressa the reset buttone wunnz morey and ok we have done. Eezee no?
No.
OK now we does the MPH. Swicha everyone off. Holda the flashing and the reset and switcha the ignitione on.
Ok
Pressa the down buttone to have de MPH.
You’re sure not the up button to go down?
Eh no stupido, now you trying to funny me! Just do the down. Then pressa the reset.
OK done that, all looks ok.
Fantastico! So you don mess with thees beautiful bike agane, eh? Otherwise you mess it all up. I done tell you agane; I send the boys roun to sort you out proper, OK?
OK
OK is fantastico have a good day and I hopa your service today is ver good? You say yes or see the boys, OK?
OK, yes.
Bravo, arrivederchi!
BobG .....AKA "The Silver Fox"

Ride fast, ride safe
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Re: All I did was disconnect the battery!

Postby Tomb » Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:38 am

On a battery subject.....

Well lads you'll be extremely happy to know.... I took the plunge and ordered a new battery :lol: :lol: :lol:

Rich very kindly jump started my 1100 every morning on the Scotland trip, it not starting well I put down to the coil giving up, coil replaced and the bike was starting Ok again for the last 6 months, but on the recent Edinburgh show trip trying to start the old lump in the morning snow the battery was poorly so yet again one of the Walker boys came to my rescue, thanks Rob.

Probably difficult to believe in these days of modern bikes but this is the first motorcycle I've owned that doesn't have a kickstart, all my other bikes (including 2 other 1100's) have a kickstart which is why I've never put a huge importance on having a brilliant battery. The battery I have is good, just not brilliant.

So a new Varta Y50N18L-A2 is winging its way to me as I type.
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Re: All I did was disconnect the battery!

Postby Jimi » Sun Mar 31, 2013 10:32 pm

what is a kick :lol: :lol: at least you didnt buy a battery and find that wasnt the problem .Ive got a kick start and a sore foot but it still want go :? :? but well get there I think .burnt out starter motor again shit I mean oops :oops: :oops:
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Re: All I did was disconnect the battery!

Postby Tomb » Wed Apr 03, 2013 6:43 pm

Well, my battery arrived, complete with mashed in negative terminal :roll: posty got butterfingers.

New one on its way and I'm off to the Beer Monsters rally at Ripon on Friday afternoon, hope it arrives in time.
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