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Ulverston & District Motorcycle Club • View topic - MAY '13 Newsletter

MAY '13 Newsletter

MAY '13 Newsletter

Postby gamma498 » Tue May 28, 2013 10:28 am

WELL THEN, AFTER ALL THE HOT DEBATE ON THE FORUM AFTER LAST MONTH’S TOPICS (NOT!!!) I WILL AGAIN BE POSTING THIS UP ON THERE SO THAT YOU LOT CAN PICK AT IT AND DISCUSS IF IT’S ALL B*LLOCKS, SO FOLLOWING ON FROM LAST ‘ISH’, WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO RIDE A BIKE? WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE BIKE YOU HAVE THAT MADE YOU BUY IT? THE RANGE OF BIKES OWNED BY CLUB MEMBERS IS A PRETTY BROAD SPECTRUM WITH JUST ABOUT ALL STYLES REPRESENTED, AS COULD BE WITNESSED AT GEORGE HASTWELL THE OTHER WEEK, WHEN WE VISITED. SO GO ON THEN, WHY HAVE YOU GOT THE BIKE THAT YOU HAVE? IS IT THE PERFORMANCE IT PROVIDES? OR MAYBE IT HANDLES FANTASTICALLY? IS IT BECAUSE WHEN YOU RIDE PAST THAT SHOP WINDOW AND CATCH YOUR REFLECTION, YOU LOOK COOL!? IS IT THE RELIABILTY AND BUILD QUALITY THAT DOES IT FOR YOU OR MAYBE THE IMAGE THAT IT PORTRAYS? ONCE AGAIN THERE’S NO RIGHT ANSWER (AND SOMETIMES, NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE, LOL!) WHAT YOU RIDE IS VERY PERSONAL TO YOURSELF. I HEARD ONE OF THE LADS SAY, WHEN WE WERE AT GEORGE HASTWELL, THAT HE WOULD HAVE EVERY TYPE OF BIKE IN HIS GARAGE IF HE COULD, A DIFFERENT ONE FOR EACH DAY, DO YOU AGREE?
I, MYSELF, AM A SPORTS BIKE GUY. TO ME, MOTORBIKES ARE FOR GOING FAST ON BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN A STRAIGHT LINE. I LOOK MORE FOR THE HANDLING SIDE OF THINGS THAN OUTRIGHT SPEED, THOUGH SAYING THAT IF IT’S RIDICULOUSLY FAST I WON’T COMPLAIN. AND IT HAS TO SCREAM. LOTS OF MAGAZINES TRY TO TELL US OF THE CHARACTER A BIKE HAS, IT MIGHT BE A PIECE OF CR*P BUT, OOOOOOO, IT OOZES CHARACTER. I’M AFRAID THAT’S ALL LOST ON ME, I DON’T WANT TO FEEL EVERY ENGINE REV, SMOOTHER THE BETTER FOR ME BOYS! I JUST DON’T GET TWINS AND SINGLES, DON’T UNDERSTAND THE ATTRACTION AT ALL, THE SOUND THEY MAKE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A MASSIVE, CONSTANT F*RT. AND NOTHING YOU DO TO THEM MAKES THEM SOUND ANY BETTER, THEY JUST SOUND THE SAME BUT LOUDER, LIKE A REALLY LOUD, MASSIVE, CONSTANT F*RT! YOU SHUT THE THROTTLE AND THE BACK WHEEL NEARLY LOCKS UP AND THEY JUST NEVER FEEL FAST. NOPE, NOT FOR ME.
ANOTHER THING THAT ATTRACTS ME TO A BIKE IS HOW MUCH IT WHEELIES. NOW DON’T GET ME WRONG, I CAN’T WHEELIE TO SAVE MY LIFE BUT I LIKE IT WHEN A BIKE WHEELIES, I JUST LOVE THE BIG GRIN IT PUTS ON MY FACE WHEN IT HAPPENS. I’M NOT REALLY INTO BIKES THAT ARE EASY TO WHEELIE ON, IF THAT WERE THE CASE I’D LIKE TWINS AND SINGLES, I LIKE BIKES THAT WHEELIE ON THEIR OWN, WHEN THEY SHOULDN’T, THAT FEELING OF ‘WHOOOAAA!!!!’ WHEN YOU’RE ON IT, FLYING ALONG AND THEN THE BIKE WHEELIES, I JUST LOVE THAT, IT MAKES MY DAY. I SUPPOSE THAT’S PROBABLY WHY I OWN A 2004 ZX10R AND A SPONDON RG500 AS THEY BOTH PROVIDE THAT SENSATION, EVERY CREST IN THE ROAD IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO PROVIDE MY FACE WITH A GRIN.
I LIKE TOURING AS WELL, ME AND THE MISSUS WENT TO SWITZERLAND TWICE BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I COULD OWN A ‘TOURER’, I’D MUCH RATHER SUFFER SOMETHING A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE GETTING WHERE I WANT TO BE AND THEN ENJOY IT’S HANDLING ONCE I’M THERE RATHER THAN BE COSSETED ON THE JOURNEY BUT THEN LUMBERED WITH SOME BIG BEHEMOTH ONCE ON THE ROADS I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO. WE HAD AN FJ1200 AT THE TIME AND THAT WAS JUST ABOUT AS ‘TOURY’ AS I’D LIKE TO GO, AT THE TIME IT SEEMED PRETTY SPORTY BUT A FEW YEARS AFTER I SOLD IT, THE GUY THAT I SOLD IT TO GAVE ME A GO AND I COULDN’T BELIEVE HOW BIG AND UNGAINLY IT FELT. YOU OBVIOUSLY ADAPT TO WHAT YOU HAVE BUT IT WAS QUITE A SHOCK.
SO C’MON THEN, WHAT FLOATS YOUR BOAT. I’LL ADMIT TO BEING ONE OF THE MOST OPINIONATED PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES TO BIKES BUT IT REALLY IS EACH TO THEIR OWN. I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME UNDERSTAND HARLEYS, I REALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE FOR, THE DON’T GO, THEY DON’T STOP, THEY DON’T HANDLE AND TO MY EARS THEY SOUND HORRENDOUS BUT THOUSANDS OF BEARDY MIDDLE AGE MEN CAN’T ALL BE WRONG CAN THEY? I HAVE A MATE THAT JUST SEEMS TO BE INTO ANYTHING THAT IS BIZARRE AND JUST DOWNRIGHT ODD, I’M CONVINCED HE DOES IT TO SEE HOW FAR I SPIT MY FOOD WHEN HE TELLS ME HE MIGHT BUY ONE OF THESE SUCH CONTRAPTIONS BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT REALLY IS EACH TO THEIR OWN. WHAT’S YOUR FETISH THEN?
GEORGE HASTWELL
CAN I JUST SAY THANKS TO ALL THOSE THAT TURNED UP AT GEORGE HASTWELL RECENTLY, IT WAS ANOTHER GREAT AFTERNOON THAT THE KIDS REALLY ENJOYED, I DON’T THINK PEOPLE REALISE HOW MUCH THEY LOOK FORWARD TO OUR VISIT. PLUS THEY MAKE SOME CRACKIN SCONES! I WAS TALKING TO KAY, ONE OF THE STAFF AT THE SCHOOL, A FEW WEEKS LATER AND I ASKED IF THEY ENJOYED THE BIKES. SHE TOLD ME THAT THEY LOVE THEM AND SOME OF THEM GET SO EXCITED THAT THEY CAN’T SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE! SO THERE YOU GO, YOUR PRESENCE REALLY DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THESE KIDS, PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. IT WAS REALLY NICE TO SEE A FEW FOLK THAT AREN’T EVEN IN THE CLUB THAT BROUGHT THEIR BIKES ALONG, THANKS ROLY, GAZ AND PHIL.

NEW FINES FOR ROAD OFFENCES
THE FINE FOR TEXTING WHILE DRIVING WILL INCREASE TO £90.
SECRETARY OF STATE FOR TRANSPORT, PATRICK MCLOUGHLIN, HAS INDICATED THAT THE INCREASED FINE IS A MOVE TO CRACK DOWN ON DANGEROUS DRIVING. THE INCREASED FINE WILL ALSO COVER SPEEDING, RUNNING A RED LIGHT AND MAKING A PHONE CALL.
HOWEVER THE NUMBER OF PENALTY POINTS AN OFFENDER WILL FACE HASN'T INCREASED AND REMAINS AT THREE.
THERE WILL ALSO BE A NEW PENALTY INTRODUCED TO COVER: CUTTING UP OTHER DRIVERS, DRIVING AT AN INAPPROPRIATE SPEED AND BEING SAT IN THE MIDDLE LANE OF A MOTORWAY.
MCLOUGHLIN SAID: "WE'RE SENDING A CLEAR MESSAGE TO DANGEROUS DRIVERS: IF YOU CONTINUE TO SHOW COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR THE SAFETY OF OTHER ROAD USERS, WE WILL CATCH YOU - AND WE WILL PUNISH YOU."

ISLE OF MAN’S LIMIT-FREE ROADS MIGHT BREACH HUMAN RIGHTS
I THINK IT MAY BE TIME THAT THE ISLE OF MAN GETS A NEW CORONER, HE’S GONNA COCK IT UP FOR EVERYONE!
“EVERYONE'S RIGHT TO LIFE SHALL BE PROTECTED BY LAW.”
THAT IS THE KEY TO ARTICLE 2 OF THE EUROPEAN CONVENTION OF HUMAN RIGHTS, AND ISLE OF MAN CORONER JOHN NEEDHAM HAS SAID THAT THE ISLAND’S LACK OF SPEED LIMITS ON ROADS OUTSIDE TOWNS MIGHT FALL FOUL OF IT.
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO INTERPRETATION BUT THE EUROPEAN COURT OF HUMAN RIGHTS HAS RULED IN THE PAST THAT UNDER ARTICLE 2 THERE MAY BE AN OBLIGATION FOR STATES TO TAKE PREVENTATIVE MEASURES TO PROTECT LIVES. SPEED LIMITS MIGHT BE CONSIDERED SUCH PREVENTATIVE MEASURES.
MR NEEDHAM’S COMMENTS CAME AT THE INQUEST INTO THE DEATH OF MOTORCYCLIST DAVY JONES, WHO DIED AFTER HITTING A STATIONARY DUSTBIN LORRY AT LAST YEAR’S TT. RECORDING A VERDICT OF ACCIDENTAL DEATH, AND POINTING OUT THAT MR JONES STUCK TO SPEED LIMITS WHERE THEY WERE APPLIED, HE SAID:
“I AM TROUBLED BY THE SPEED INVOLVED HERE. IF IT WAS NOT AS HIGH AS 160 MPH AS ESTIMATED BY THE EYEWITNESSES THEN AS I HAVE FOUND TRAVELLING AT OVER 120MPH ALONG A STRAIGHT AND AT OR AROUND 100MPH AROUND THE BLIND BEND OF A COUNTRY ROAD IS IN MY VIEW EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS. A SEEMINGLY PERMISSIVE ATTITUDE OF THE ISLE OF MAN GOVERNMENT IN CHOOSING TO HAVE NO SPEED LIMIT AT ALL APPLYING ON CERTAIN ROADS IN MY VIEW RAISES THE SPECTRE OF IT FAILING IN ITS DUTY TO PROTECT THE LIVES OF ITS CITIZENS AND VISITORS TO ITS SHORES UNDER ARTICLE 2 OF THE EUROPEAN CONVENTION ON HUMAN RIGHTS.”
“THIS IS THE SECOND INQUEST RELATING TO A FATALITY AT THE 2012 TT FESTIVAL WHERE I HAVE FOUND THAT SPEED IS A FACTOR. INDEED, I HAVE FOUND IN THE PRESENT CASE THAT SPEED IS EVEN MORE OF A FACTOR THAN I DID IN THE LAST CASE. I REFERRED TO, PREVIOUSLY IN THAT CASE, HOW SOME BIKERS VIEW RIDING THE TT COURSE AS BEING AN EXTENSION OR SUBSTITUTE OF A TRACK DAY. I AM AFRAID THAT SUCH ATTITUDE IS IN MY VIEW FOSTERED BY DE-RESTRICTED ROADS.”
“AS CORONER AT PREVIOUS INQUESTS I HAVE RESISTED ENTERING INTO THE POLITICAL DECISION REGARDING A NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT FOR THE ISLE OF MAN. HOWEVER THE FACTS OF THIS CASE ARE SUFFICIENTLY STARK SUCH THAT I AM DUTY BOUND TO RAISE THE ISSUE THAT A LACK OF A NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT APPEARS TO BE A POLICY OF GOVERNMENT WHICH IS PUTTING INNOCENT LIVES AT UNACCEPTABLE RISK. MOTORCYCLES ARE SO QUICK THESE DAYS AND THE ROADS ARE SUFFICIENTLY BUSY THAT THE MAINTENANCE OF SUCH A POLICY APPEARS TO ME TO BE HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE. THAT DECISION IS FOR THE POLITICIANS BUT I AM DUTY BOUND TO RAISE THE ISSUE. I ALSO RAISE THE POINT THAT A DECISION MAY BE UNPOPULAR BUT ULTIMATELY THE STATE HAS TO ACT RESPONSIBLY IN A GROWN-UP FASHION TO PROTECT ALL PEOPLE SOMETIMES FROM RISKS THAT THEY WISH TO IMPOSE UPON THEMSELVES.”
HE MADE THE RECOMMENDATION THAT THE ISLE OF MAN’S DEPARTMENT OF INFRASTRUCTURE SHOULD “REVISIT THE ISSUE OF THE IMPOSITION OF A NATIONAL SPEED LIMIT IN THE INTERESTS OF PROTECTING THE SAFETY OF ITS ROAD USERS AND IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS POSITIVE DUTY TO PROTECT LIFE UNDER ARTICLE 2 OF THE EUROPEAN CONVENTION ON HUMAN RIGHTS.”
OUTSIDE TOWNS AND VILLAGES, MANY OF THE ISLAND’S ROADS ARE UNRESTRICTED. INFRASTRUCTURE MINISTER DAVID CRETNEY SAID HE DID NOT BELIEVE SAFETY WOULD BE IMPROVED BY IMPOSING A LIMIT ON ALL ROADS.
HE SAID: “MY DEPARTMENT REGULARLY AND SYSTEMATICALLY REVIEWS ROAD SAFETY AND IMPLEMENTS MEASURES WHICH ARE TARGETED, PRACTICABLE AND EVIDENCE-BASED.“
HE SAID STATISTICS SHOWED DRIVER ERROR WAS TO BLAME FOR 70% OF COLLISIONS.


NURBURGRING CLOSED BECAUSE OF A GIANT PENIS – NO, NOT A BMW DRIVER!
ANYONE WHO’S BEEN TO THE NURBURGRING WILL KNOW THAT IT’S ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR COCKS ON THE CIRCUIT – BUT NOT QUITE AS LITERALLY AS THIS.
YEP, AFTER WEEKS OF CLOSURES DUE TO SNOW, THE ‘RING WAS SHUT ONCE AGAIN ON SUNDAY AS WORKERS STRUGGLED TO REMOVE SOME TRULY MONUMENTAL COCK-AND-BALLS GRAFFITI FROM THE SURFACE.
IT TOOK NEARLY THREE HOURS FOR THE ‘ART’ TO BE REMOVED, LEAVING PAYING PUNTERS WAITING FOR THEIR CHANCE TO GET OUT ON THE LEGENDARY CIRCUIT. PRESUMABLY, AS FAR AS THEY WERE CONCERNED, THE PAINTING WAS A SELF-PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST…

THE LONG-ANTICIPATED SALE OF THE NURBURGRING STARTS TODAY (MAY 15) AS THE ADMINISTRATOR FOR THE BANKRUPT CIRCUIT STARTS TO CONSIDER OFFERS FOR THE FACILITY.
BIDDERS WILL INITIALLY HAVE TO SUBMIT AN “EXPRESSION OF INTEREST” AND PROVE THEY’RE CAPABLE TO PAYING. THEY’LL THEN BE ALLOWED TIME TO UNDERTAKE DUE DILIGENCE ON THE CIRCUIT AND ITS FACILITIES BEFORE MAKING A BINDING OFFER IN THE AUTUMN. THE SALE, MANAGED BY KPMG, IS LIKELY TO BE FINALISED IN 2014.
THE 937-ACRE SITE, INCLUDING HOTELS, THE ORIGINAL NORDSCHLEIFE CIRCUIT AND THE SHORTER ‘NEW’ NURBURGRING TRACK, COULD BE SOLD TO A SINGLE BUYER OR SPLIT AMONG SEVERAL PURCHASERS. THE PRICE IS EXPECTED TO BE AT LEAST €120 MILLION (£100 MILLION) AND COULD GO MUCH HIGHER.
POTENTIAL BUYERS INCLUDE CAR MANUFACTURERS INTERESTED IN THE CIRCUIT AS A TEST FACILITY. HOWEVER, THIS YEAR’S EVENTS AREN’T EXPECTED TO BE AFFECTED. WHOEVER DOES BUY THE TRACK IS ALSO LIKELY TO BE SUBJECT TO FORTHCOMING LOCAL LEGISLATION THAT WILL FORCE THEM TO KEEP THE TRACK OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

SOME PEOPLE JUST DESERVE ALL THEY GET DON’T THEY?
A BIKER WHO JOINED A FIGHTBACK FORUM TO TRY AND AVOID BEING CONVICTED FOR SPEEDING HAS ENDED UP WITH A JAIL SENTENCE.
ANDREW JOHN KELLY, 37, JOINED THE FORUM TO FIND OUT WHETHER HE COULD GET AWAY WITH THE NOTICE OF INTENDED PROSECUTION FOR 122MPH IN A 70MPH LIMIT IN NORTH YORKSHIRE LAST YEAR. KELLY WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER HE COULD CONTINUE TO AVOID THE NIP LETTERS AND GET AWAY WITHOUT CHARGE.
KELLY ATTRACTED NEGATIVE ATTENTION ON THE FORUM BY BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HE PREVIOUSLY GOT AWAY WITH A PARKING FINE BY PRODUCING A FAKE INVOICE FROM A RECOVERY SERVICE, CLAMING HIS CAR HAD BROKEN DOWN. HIS COMMENTS ABOUT THE PARKING FINE AND HIS WANT TO GET AWAY WITH THE SPEEDING CHARGE PROVOKED A BACKLASH FROM REGULAR FORUM USERS, WHO NOTIFIED THE POLICE.
DURING POLICE INTERVIEWS, KELLY TOLD POLICE THAT THE RIDER OF THE MOTORCYCLE WAS A PROSPECTIVE BUYER CALLED 'RICHARD' HOWEVER POLICE SEIZED HIS MOTORCYCLE GEAR WHICH MATCHED THE CLOTHING BEING WORN AT THE TIME OF THE OFFENCE AND KELLY THEN ADMITTED HE WAS RIDING AT THE TIME.
KELLY, WHO POSTED IN THE FORUM AS 'ANDYROO' SAID: “THIS FORUM IS A WASTE OF TIME. DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH. NEXT YOU’RE ALL GOING TO TELL ME YOU NEVER TOLD A LIE?”
KELLY WAS SENTENCED FOR 8 MONTHS IN TOTAL, FOUR MONTHS FOR EACH COUNT OF PERVERTING THE COURSE OF JUSTICE IN RELATION TO THE PARKING FINE AND ALSO THE SPEEDING OFFENCE. HE WAS ALSO GIVEN SIX PENALTY POINTS FOR THE SPEEDING OFFENCE.
TRAFFIC CONSTABLE, ZOE BILLINGS OF NORTH YORKSHIRE POLICE, SAID: “HE HAS NO ONE BUT HIMSELF TO BLAME FOR THE SITUATION HE NOW HAS TO FACE."

MOTOGP TV RIGHTS
WHAT LOVELY PEOPLE DORNA ARE AREN’T THEY? NEXT YEAR, IF YOU WANT TO WATCH MOTOGP YOU WILL EITHER HAVE TO HAVE BT BROADBAND OR YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY A SUBSCRIPTION TO RECEIVE THE NEW BT SPORTS CHANNELS. IT LOOKS LIKE THEIR CLAIM THAT THEY AIMED TO GET THE SPORT INTO MORE HOUSEHOLDS BY HAVING IT AIRED ON THE NATIONAL TV CHANNELS HAS NOW CHANGED TO ‘NEVER MIND THE FANBASE, GET AS MUCH MONEY FROM THE TV RIGHTS DEAL AS POSSIBLE!’ THEY OBVIOUSLY DON’T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT VEIWING FIGURES AND ARE JUST INTERESTED IN HOW MUCH MONEY THEY CAN RAKE IN. WELL I FOR ONE HOPE IT BITES THEM ON THE ARSE, SPONSORS WANT AS MUCH COVERAGE AS THEY CAN AND I CAN’T SEE PEOPLE IN THEIR MILLIONS PAYING AN EXTRA 15 QUID A MONTH TO GET BT SPORTS. I ALREADY PAY SKY A FORTUNE AND WILL NOT BE SHELLING OUT ANY MORE. TALK ABOUT HOW TO KILL A SPORT!

NEARLY TT TIME AGAIN
AND TALKING OF TV COVERAGE, IT’S NEARLY TT TIME AGAIN AND ONCE AGAIN ITV4 WILL BE TREATING US TO MORE FANTASTIC COVERAGE. THERE ARE A NUMBER OF ‘SPECIALS’ ON THIS WEEK (PRACTICE WEEK) AND THEN A PROGRAM EACH DAY ON RACE WEEK. THE FOOTAGE LAST YEAR WAS SPECTACULAR AND NOT TO BE MISSED, HOPEFULLY THE WEATHER WILL BE KIND AND EVERYONE WILL COME THROUGH SAFELY.
LOCAL LAD DAN STEWART HAS GOT BACKING FROM THE SMT TEAM THIS YEAR SO IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO SEE HOW HE GOES WITH A BIT MORE SUPPORT, I DON’T KNOW HOW DIFFERENT HIS MACHINERY WILL BE BUT HOPEFULLY IT COULD TAKE HIM TO THE NEXT LEVEL, I HOPE HE HAS A SAFE AND SUCCESSFUL TT.

ITV4 Schedule
Monday 27th May 21:00 TT 2013: “Conor Cummins: The Local Hero”
Tuesday 28th May 21:00 TT 2013: The perfect lap
Wednesday 29th May 21:00 TT 2013: Operation TT
Thursday 30th May 21:00 TT 2013: Preview Show
Friday 31st May 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Saturday 1st June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Sunday 2nd June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Monday 3rd June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Tuesday 4th June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Wednesday 5th June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Thursday 6th June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Friday 7th June 21:00 TT 2013: Daily Highlights Show
Monday 10th June 18:00 TT 2013: Review Show
19:00 TT 2013: Review Show












JOKES
SAW SOMEONE TRY AND PARK A CAR FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES.
I DIDN'T SEE THE PERSON SO I'M NOT GOING TO ASSUME WHAT GENDER SHE WAS.


I WENT ON A BLIND DATE LAST NIGHT.
I ASKED, "DO YOU LIKE PEPPA PIG?"
SHE SAID, "YES."
I SAID, "WAITER, CAN WE HAVE SOME PEPPER OVER HERE PLEASE?"


I BUMPED INTO MY EX IN TOWN EARLIER, I SAID:
"HOW'S YOUR NEW BLOKE?"
"HE'S TWICE THE MAN YOU ARE," SHE SNEERED, "WHAT ABOUT YOUR NEW WOMAN?"
I SAID, "THANKFULLY SHE'S HALF THE WOMAN YOU ARE........... YOU FAT C*NT."

AN ADVANCED BIOLOGY CLASS WERE TAKING THEIR MID-TERM EXAM. THE LAST QUESTION WAS, 'NAME SEVEN ADVANTAGES OF MOTHER'S MILK.’ THE QUESTION WAS WORTH 70 POINTS OR NONE AT ALL.

ONE STUDENT, IN PARTICULAR, WAS HARD PUSHED TO THINK OF SEVEN ADVANTAGES. HOWEVER, HE WROTE:

1) IT IS PERFECT FORMULA FOR THE CHILD. 2) IT PROVIDES IMMUNITY AGAINST SEVERAL DISEASES. 3) IT IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE. 4) ...IT IS INEXPENSIVE. 5) IT BONDS THE CHILD TO MOTHER, AND VICE VERSA. 6) IT IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE AS NEEDED.

AND THEN THE STUDENT WAS STUCK. FINALLY, IN DESPERATION, JUST BEFORE THE BELL RANG INDICATING THE END OF THE TEST, HE WROTE:

7) IT COMES IN TWO ATTRACTIVE CONTAINERS AND IT'S HIGH ENOUGH OFF THE GROUND WHERE THE CAT CAN'T GET IT.

HE GOT AN A
gamma498
 
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Re: MAY '13 Newsletter

Postby Tomb » Wed May 29, 2013 9:10 am

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Tomb
 
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Re: MAY '13 Newsletter

Postby Tomb » Wed May 29, 2013 9:27 am

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Tomb
 
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Re: MAY '13 Newsletter

Postby gamma498 » Wed May 29, 2013 1:23 pm

I meant on private roads obviously Tom! :twisted: ;)
gamma498
 
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Re: MAY '13 Newsletter

Postby Tomb » Wed May 29, 2013 1:46 pm

Of course mate, track days :lol: :lol:
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Re: MAY '13 Newsletter

Postby gamma498 » Thu May 30, 2013 2:00 pm

Clarky appreciated my opinion of twins and singles and told me so on facebook last night, haha! :lol:
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